Keep calm and curry on!

This morning was... a shitshow.

I'm sorry mum. I did try looking in the thesaurus for an alternative but failed. See!

I realised as Matt was getting ready that I'd not cooked any more sausages. He was not happy at the idea of a jam sandwich for lunch but I was at a loss as to what else to offer him.

10 minutes before we needed to leave (20 minutes before we actually left) as Sophie's soup was in the microwave she realised she'd left her flask at school. So I had a bowl of hot soup, nothing to put it in, and nothing else to offer but a jam sandwich! Sophie reckoned she didn't mind cold soup so we stuck it in some Tupperware and she took that to school. Too late and uninterested for breakfast she grabbed the last banana to eat on the way.

In the rush I also missed breakfast and didn't take anything with me. I was ready for my soup by about 9.30am!

It turns out that old Chinese tubs are not suitable receptacles for an 11 year old to take soup to school. It burst and leaked in the bag. And what was left was, unsurprisingly, not tasty cold! Poor Sophie. Luckily we had some of the strawberry creams left from the beginning of the week which took the edge off when we got home. Matt got in about 5pm and let me know that jam sandwiches "feel poor". If this is the first time he's felt poor this week I guess we've not done too bad. But I definitely think I've not protected them as much as in previous years. And really not been as organised!

Tonight was going to be leftovers all round. But Sophie's mate wanted to come for tea so I decided to make the burgers again, this time with wedges. I also ditched the eggs so they're veganised! Just used a bit of flour and chickpea water to bind. Her friend, in the end, decided she wasn't hungry. Maybe it was  "chickpea" that put her off... but I can't say I minded having extra! The wedges were really good.

The boys had some mince curry vibe with rice. Apparently very tasty! I've been impressed how Les has managed to stretch a £2.60 pack of meat to 8 meals. And they've all been pretty big platefuls (this was about half way through)(and this is Matt's standard "you can take a photo if you don't make me pose" pose)

I'm so ready for the end of the week. It really hasn't been as bad as I remember previous years being. But did I mention I'm tired?!

We have money left! The boys ended on £9.77 and the girls on £9.30. So almost a whole £ between us. We also have soup left, a burger, rice, split peas, carrots and onions. I'm not sure how we've got here but there you go! I honestly thought this was going to be so much tighter when we started. But it's been a heck of a lot of work.

The messages of support have been so lovely, I really appreciate you guys keeping us going. We're not doing anything extraordinary really, lots of people are doing things far more worthy of praise. But still, it's nice to feel you with us. And it's nice to be able to say we're up to £443.50! I really hope we make it to £500 by the end of the weekend!

So if you haven't donated yet, please do if you can.

www.mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/kateraynor2018 

And that's almost it for another year! I've promised the kids we'll stay up for a midnight feast. Probably accompanied by a film and some board games (I might just have a nap first). Have a great weekend and thanks again for reading!

Bean better

This morning, as promised I got up early and made Matt pancakes.

I was so tired. And it doesn't make sense, especially after the introduction of that 2p cake, although we're restricted we ate fairly well yesterday. Less tea than usual probably. Less fruit/veg. And I think it just takes a lot of energy planning, calculating, worrying.

I had soup, again, for lunch. I'm really bored of it now! And no free work biscuits has been a challenge.

Matt had an appointment in the afternoon so I picked him up at lunchtime. But there was a talk about Cambridge University at 3pm so he went back in for that. I planned to work from home until I collected Sophie at 4.30 but ended up napping instead. It's a good job I have an understanding workplace and it's easy enough for me to make it up later! But honestly, holding down a demanding job while feeling like this all the time would be near impossible. My job isn't even active, would be a whole bunch worse if I was on my feet all day.

After I got Sophie I just laid on the sofa for an hour or so. It was really hard to get motivated to organise tea. Les couldn't face beans on toast without butter so we did a trade. He's having my last pack of instant noodles and we're having his beans.

Tea was eggy bread, beans, sausage and/or toast depending what people fancied. I forgot to take a photo but you can guess what that looked like!

I think I'm doing pretty well. I haven't had a cry at all today, or yesterday. Sophie is out playing and wants to play a board game when she gets in. I just want to go to bed!!

Sorry, this post is a bit morngy I know. The end is in sight thought. I've suggested to the kids we stay up late and have an actual midnight feast on Friday night! And my lovely friend at work has made brownies and said I can take some home for Saturday. They look amazing!

We've passed the halfway mark on the sponsorship which is fantastic. Thanks so much for all the kind words and donations. It helps for sure! But of course there's still plenty of time to donate :)

www.mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/kateraynor2018

We'd be crackers not to

This morning the kids both had some reduced scones and jam for breakfast. Not the most healthy but I just could not be bothered to make pancakes. I have promised Matt they can have some tomorrow.

I forgot to take bread to work so just had soup. I was so hungry today. I realised I've not had any protein or fat. The food we've had has been reasonably good; carbs, veg, but it's not quite satiated my hunger. And the ever-present niggling pressure of the challenge certainly impacts how I'm feeling. I spoke to Les when I got in from work; hunger doesn't usually bother him, he usually eats once a day anyway, but this week it has got to him. I guess it's knowing we can't have what we want which makes us want it all the more.

I was tired. I think I've held it together pretty well at work (maybe ask my colleagues!) But it's felt hard and despite an early night last night I just feel drained and a bit "meh".

Dinner certainly perked me up though, these chickpea and carrot burgers were delicious and I felt properly full for the first time this week. The bread was a bonus as I picked it up in Tesco for 3p (this place is my actual saviour.)

Sophie had Maths tuition tonight so I was so pleased to send her off with a full belly. I've been worried about both kids' ability to concentrate with compromised nutrition as they both have exams next week. Matt went to his friends house, and bless that child, he passed up pizza, garlic bread, fizzy pop. I picked him up at 8pm and he was really hungry but I'm so proud of him for sticking with it.

While the kids were out Les and I went to Tesco as we were passing (again. I once swore I'd never shop there...) we had a poke around the reduced veg but didn't find much. I'm desperate for some fruit. Then as we passed the tills we hit the actual jackpot. There were trays stacked with reduced items. Mainly bread for 1p a loaf. But also cakes and buns, fancy pastries and crackers. For pennies. There may have been a slight tussle between Les and I for the last 2p chocolate cake...

We both felt elated yet uncomfortable. We're meant to be suffering not indulging! One of my friends at work said I'm a bit of a martyr. I think maybe he's right. But I think it should be hard for us! It's what you all sponsor us for isn't it? Pain and suffering?!

There was a tray of Cadburys Heroes cupcakes for 9p. We bagged those for the kids. I was so excited in anticipation of seeing their faces! Along with some tomato and herb crackers that I can have for supper; I really miss supper. So I hope you'll forgive us for not suffering as much as you might like! We've always said we won't take gifts of food but if it's reduced in a shop then it's fair game for all.

I've thought a lot about why this year doesn't seem as hard as previous years. Maybe its because we've learned from previous years. Maybe it's because Les is in charge of the boys, so I don't feel the sole burden of making sure we're all well fed. Maybe it's all the ridiculously cheap yellow sticker finds! Maybe it's because no longer volunteering at the drop in means I'm further removed from the reality of the poverty we're trying to highlight.

That last possibility scares me. Working full time is what my family need right now, but I fear becoming completely detached and removed from what actual poverty looks like. This challenge is really important to us, as a way of financially supporting an amazing local charity. But also a way of speaking up for those living the reality of abject poverty and saying "It's not ok that people can't feed their children properly." "It's not ok that parents are starving themselves in order to hold together some semblance of normality for their children." "It's not ok that anyone lives in such constant fear and distress that life doesn't seem worth it." And I'm sorry that's really heavy for a Wednesday evening. Except I'm not that sorry, because I feel like we should be shouting about it every day until something changes. I want this to be hard in a way which lessens the burden of someone else. I want to share the stress, anguish, loneliness and despair so that it gives someone else a moment to breathe. Unfortunately it doesn't quite work like that. But I know that the drop in changes lives and makes people feel heard and noticed. So at least we can help support that.

https://www.mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/kateraynor2018

I Doughnut want to fall out

It turns out that the 16p doughnuts were the source of much outrage and consternation over dinner. Sophie wasn't impressed by my kind gifting of the doughnuts to the boys. It prompted some interesting debate:

Matt - the 'communist'; why can't we all equally share the money and so equally share the doughnuts?
Mum - the 'socialist'; we bought the doughnuts but we'll share with you because you don't have enough money to buy your own
Sophie and Les the 'capitalists' were arguing about whether "we own them and we decide it'll cost you 4p a doughnut" or "they were worth 16p yesterday but they're staler now so we'll give you 1p a doughnut". It's incredible how quickly a family can turn on each other!

In the end the fact that I'd already blogged that they were a gift settled it!
Sophie decided to put some jam on hers!

 

This morning Matt didn't want his sausage sandwich because it made him feel sick. I don't think he likes the sausages. That's going to be troublesome! Instead he had one of our bananas (don't tell Sophie!) Sophie wouldn't eat anything. I hated sending her to school on an empty tummy but I couldn't force her to eat. There were options; banana, jam on toast, soup even! I stuck a banana in her bag and told her to eat it later if she needed something.

 

I've felt so tired and fed up today. It's ridiculous really how quickly this challenge weighs down on me. I've managed 2 little cries (over a song and a dog) and Sophie asked me if I'm "PMSing". Which was nice of her. It's boring and restrictive and exhausting. I had a meeting this morning and for a split second considered a McDonalds lunch on my way home, then remembered I couldn't. I'm not even that bothered about McDonalds but the restriction on choices is hard.

 

When I collected Sophie from school she told me how much she couldn't stop thinking about fried chicken, or crispy salty bacon. And she's usually serious about her vegetarianism! I'm a bit worried that we're pretty low on protein this week. Might need some hummus or eggs tomorrow. I took the opportunity of a low grocery budget to get Sophie some new school shoes and on the way we both couldn't stop talking about food! She wants chips from every fast food place we can find on Saturday. In the end we had to stick some tunes on and have a bit of a dance to take our mind off it.

 

Dinner was the same as yesterday. Well, Sophie had asked for noodles but while they were cooking demolished the leftover rice and was then too full for the noodles! I'm not convinced they'll be up to much tomorrow but I'd be gutted to sling them.

 

I had the rice too and Matt had bolognaise.

 

I've felt so tired this evening. I promised Matt I'd play a board game, which was fun (mainly because I beat him) but it was really hard going. There are so many jobs I should be doing but just can't face it tonight. I'm fed up. I can't imagine how much more fed up I'd be feeling if we were this restricted all the time.

We did buy some more yellow sticker items. Including some bread rolls which I'm very excited about having with chickpea burgers later in the week. If I can muster the energy for proper cooking that is! Which brings the girls total to £8.93. I picked the boys up a loaf for 5p which actually brings their total down as I'd counted for 2 loaves at 40p but only bought 1 at the start of the week! So boys are on £9.50. They could actually beat us...

We're up to £155 on the sponsorship https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/kateraynor2018 we'd love if you can sponsor us to help contribute to the work of the dropin.

Souper bargains

Last night I popped into Tesco just as it was closing and picked up these amazing yellow sticker soup mixes.

I was thrilled to find them so cheap, but also found myself wondering who on earth pays £1.30 for them?! I know it's more convenient than chopping oneself but it's just root veg, which is dirt cheap. Anyway, luckily no one was buying them so I could grab 3!

I used 2 to make Sophie some vegetable soup and the 3rd mixed with some split peas and spices to make another soup for my lunches.

Sophie's was pretty bland initially so I panicked and added beans, chopped tomatoes and more potatoes. It made the price of the soup much higher, 74p instead of 9p but actually we're still coming in at around 6p a portion. And she loves it.

Les and I also went for a lovely walk in some local woodland last night and brought home some wild garlic. I stuck a few leaves into each soup and it'll be useful to add to bolognaise, risotto etc too.

Breakfast was pancakes. (Followed by soup for Sophie!) They weren't the best but the kids threw sugar all over them and thought they were delicious. And at 18p for the batch they're a super thrifty option.
I used 2 small eggs, approx 100g flour and water instead of milk.

Lunch was eclectic. Matt had a sausage sandwich, Sophie and I had soup and bread/toast. I also made some croutons from the bread crusts. And snuck the ends of Les' 9p spring onions.

Today has felt ok. Lazing around in the sunshine has definitely helped, we haven't had to exert much energy, although a cold beer or some ice lollies would have gone down a treat. I made do with some homemade lemon ice tea. Teabag left over from this morning's cuppa, a bit of lemon juice and sugar. It was pretty nice! And added just 2p to our total.

I was worried that starting this on a bank holiday would be harder. But the kids have been busy and I've managed to potter about without too much worry over the rest of the week. I think Les' laidback attitude might eventually be rubbing off on me a bit! But it is only day 1, and we're back into busy normality tomorrow. I have a meeting first thing so we need to be super organised with breakfast and lunches.

Dinner is risotto for the girls and bolognaise for the boys. We chipped in for a packet of celery between us, which is an extra 27p each.

Boys are on £9.85. I bought some cut price doughnuts for 16p but we'll call it a present as they don't really have enough to contribute. The girls are on £8.66 after factoring in yellow sticker items, lemon juice and spices for the soup. Actually that looks a bit scary now!

We've already raised over £100 in sponsorship which is awesome. We'd love if you could give, even if only a little.

www.mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/kateraynor2018

Best laid plans

Today has been glorious. So I didn't really want to spend the whole day traipsing round a bunch of supermarkets. I also wasn't keen on the idea of doing a 20 mile round trip to Asda/Lidl just to get 3p off a bag of rice. It felt disingenuous and goes against my green ethics! So after Sophie's riding lesson (I know, so flipping middle class...) we went to Home Bargains and Aldi as they are on the way back. I hadn't expected much from Home Bargains but we got some good little deals in there. I even impulse bought some potatoes which will help the soup go loads further. Ooo, I might even do some chips! That feels pretty decadent this week!

I discovered that all my hours of calculating prices online pretty much went out of the window. They don't have all the Aldi products on mysupermarket.com, so although I had with me the Lidl/Asda prices it was a bit hit and miss whether the prices were different. Incredibly the overall total was less than I'd expected!

I was also pleased to be able to get everything on the list in those 2 shops, and here it is!

It actually looks like a fairly decent amount of food for less than £17 quid. You will note that the girls pile (left) is considerably bigger and includes biscuits!! We're going halves on the things in the middle such as peas, flour and sugar. I still feel apprehensive. I think that there's a good chance I've totally underestimated how much of some things we'll need. Sophie and I, for example, only have 1 loaf of bread to last the week. But our side looks pretty balanced, and the boys have their meat so they're happy. It'll be interesting to see what, if anything, Les has forgotten and wants some money for as the week progresses.

Starting marks for us: £9.54 for the boys, £8.07 for the girls (and we already have biscuits)

I always feel the need to regularly reiterate; I do not think it's easy or practical to live on £1 a day. It is easier for us because we have support, we know it's for a worthy cause, and it's only 5 days. We're also lucky that Les and I are pretty good cooks (although he would dispute my abilities) so are able to make the most of cheap ingredients. But it's still all-consuming and exhausting. It still causes an overwhelming fear of not being able to meet the most basic needs of my children. And it's horrifying that people have to deal with that every day.

So please, please sponsor us. The money you give will directly help those who struggle to support themselves.

www.mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/kateraynor2018

Man vs Veggie

Welcome to our Live Below the Line challenge 2018! We will be living on £1 a day for 5 days to raise funds for BCDP.

Barnsley Churches Drop-in Project is a local charity which helps provide hot food, clothing and toiletries to those in need in Barnsley. I volunteered for them for several years and it's a really fantastic place filled with love and care. I have heard time and time again people tell me they don't think they'd still be alive if it wasn't for that place, so it's certainly worth a little hardship for us to help the charity continue it's work, and hopefully you'll think it worth sponsoring us!

I really enjoy writing the blog while we do this challenge. It gives me a focus, and an outlet for the emotion which inevitably accompanies it. So thank you for joining me, and I hope you feel inspired in some way by what we're doing. To donate, to volunteer, even to shop and eat in a more considered way.

So, the challenge!! This year there is an exciting twist, we're splitting the money between the boys and the girls! I was complaining that 25% of our budget was going on meat which neither Sophie nor I would eat. Les reckoned he could easily feed him and Matt on £10 and spend half on meat. Game. On!

As it's the bank holiday it would be nice to get the shopping done early, so we wrote the shopping list on Thursday night. Les didn't find it quite as easy as he thought he would but after lots of swaps and recalculations he got their total to £9.99. Pretty darn close! He's still lacking fruit for Matt (at the moment he's having cucumber instead) and celery which he'd really like for bolognaise, somehow I'm tasked with finding these for the remaining 1p... let's hope I can find some veg aisle reductions!

The girls on the other hand, have a pretty comprehensive menu for the bargain price of £7.57. It features lots of soup. I decided that if we have a mug of veg soup after school that should help fill Sophie up a bit and get some goodness into her, so if the tea isn't that healthy it doesn't matter as much. I'm feeling fairly confident. But then I always do before we get going! And I'm super enjoying the fact that I can buy biscuits and Les can't! I know I'll end up subsidising them, and I should have learnt by now it's never as smooth sailing as I think it'll be, but I think we're going to be ok. Food prices have gone up though and previous years I've managed to include crisps and biscuits for kids pack ups. This time I'm resigned to the fact that it might be a bit crap for them too rather than trying to fully cushion them. They won't starve, but the food might be a bit uninspiring.

I know we've not started yet, but I promise we will, so if you want to sponsor us the link is - www.mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/kateraynor2018 incredibly we've already received £70, which is amazing!